sometimes i hate my writing

First of all, I'm a dreamer. And dreams are so much sweeter than hard work reality.

I always start off a novel and fall in love with the story and take my time with the writing and really love the whole piece to bits. And then I hit the doldrums and everything seems gray and dry and awful and I imagine sending the story to friends to read and imagine they'll laugh me out and see me as the fraud I am.

And boy am I having a hard time with TQR in this regard right now. I think a big reason is because of my recent decision to change the point of view from first to third person. I write the story and think, this is awful I should start over the way I want. But if I let myself start over I will never finish. And above anything else I want to finish this novel.

I think it's more important for me to finish this novel at this point than it is to actually make it publishable. Finishing is the hardest part for me. I've never done it. So this needs to be the one that is finished and even if it's utter crap I'm still going to edit it, send it alpha and beta readers, edit it some more, rewrite it into the correct point of view, and see then if it's good enough to try to find an agent for. If it's not, well, it's still quite the accomplishment.

So, sometimes I really do hate my writing. And sometimes I think it's fine. And rarely, though it has happened, I love my writing.